Letters from NYC

Hello, hello...

I see you are one of those people who just cannot look away at the sight of an accident. So you've either returned out of morbid curiosity or to poke some fun at me, as I've often done with other's.

From your comments I can see that some of you are not above a little prurient reading. And a few of you, whom wrote to me directly, spotted my affinity for the Stones. I must confess, my overall preference is for classic rock of the late 60's through pop rock of the early 90's.

Well, as you can see, there’s been no major changes to the site in the last 48 hrs, but the night is still young, and I've been known to accomplish much in very little time. Although M [my pet name for Michele] gave me carte blanche with the site (quite trusting isn’t she? I wonder if she's that way with everything?), I think I’ll keep things as they are for awhile. The only thing I’ll perhaps add is a few pints of Guinness, to give a little color to the place. I know she won’t mind.

I promised you 2 things, that I would tell you a bit about myself, and that I would tell an interesting story about Michele.

First about me: throughout my life I’ve had the opportunity to hold diverse and very interesting jobs ranging from Barkeep to lecturer of Political Economy at Queen Mary College at University of London. My professional expertise in both is extensive. By day I’m a Political Economist who focuses on regulatory bodies and issues, with particular emphasis on policy and public sector reform. As evening falls, I don my tie and meet friends to discuss the politics of the day over dinner and a few pints.

I live in Manhattan and can't imagine living anywhere else in the world. Alhough, as a globalization supporter I consider myself to be a citizen of the world. I have lived in the US now for over 18 years and consider it home. Like M, I have lived in too many places to mention, but always managed to end up here.

As I read this off to Michele she insisted, nay demanded, that I share some of my humorous anecdotes with you. Few people understand my humor, but she always seems to enjoy it and has I'm “very funny.” We shall see if you enjoy me too or if it will be off to the gallows with me. Being the well trained monkey I am, I will obey her demand (while getting even for being ordered about by a woman no less) and will share with you how her wild and unbridled desire for me began. Of course, the telling is from my perspective, so I know she'll hate it.

Michele and I met in early June through a series of multilateral protocol planning meetings for a trade conference which our respective firms will be participating in this fall. She was a very junior member and a last minute substitute for someone in her team. To my surprise, though a bit rough around the edges, she performed quite well for someone so new to the world of diplomacy and protocol.

Though she's been too busy to lunch with me for the past 2 months, 2 weeks ago (once again as a last minute substitution) we met up an event for a visiting PM [Prime Minister]. After greeting me with great interest, she turned to walk away from me and instead slipped on a wet spot. As she fell back I tried breaking her fall and literally tussled my glass of pinot noir right into the back of her trousers. Unfortunately, she was wearing a white silk pantsuit instead of her usual black ensemble. Needless to say it left a big conspicuous stain that began midway in the center of her bottom or rear end, and went down the back of one leg.

We both froze unsure of what to do. As I began to apologize, my instinct was to blot the stain with my napkin. Being that it was on her rear end, I kept extending, then pulling back my hand several times. Suddenly a similar Faulty Towers scene popped into my head, and I was forced to bite my lower lip and clear my throat several times in order to suppress a hearty laugh.

As M tried to modestly examine her bottom, I became embarrassed for her. It was her first important work related event and it was turning out to be a disaster. As I frantically looked about for a discreet way for her to exit, the PM and his wife were announced and entered the room. There was no way to escape the impending embarassment. As the introductions slowly wound their way to near us, M frantically whispered to me, “Quick, get behind me…. closer… closer… You need to practically be on top of me so no one will notice.” As she turned to look at me and make sure I had heard, she saw the enormous grin on my face. Without saying a word I did as asked, confident in the knowledge that my headmaster was right in saying," there is always pleasure to be found in doing your duty."

M insisted that this cozy arrangement was only until the entourage passed us. As my grin widened into a Cheshire cat smile she turned, exasperated, to face the approaching entourage.

Just as we were about to be introduced, I whispered in her ear that “I was quite partial to generous bottoms” [like hers]. I have never seen anyone turn quite that shade of crimson before and for such a long period of time. I too was flushed, but for very different reasons. I still grin at the thought of it. I wonder if she’s gotten over the embarrassment of it all.

Posted by 1Colin at July 26, 2005 01:00 AM | TrackBack