There is something that happens to the rest of the world when you meet that special someone you strongly connect with. For awhile, the noisy intrusive world that surrounds us ceases to exist. Time seems to stand still, when in fact it steals away precious minutes from new found lovers. The world shrinks to encompass only them and nothing and no one else exists in their little world. Sleep, hunger, comfort, all are sacrificed just to linger for a moment longer with that special someone. Early on in their meetings, that special someone's presence and closeness is all they need and want for nourishment.

But what most of us don't realize when looking at that special someone, is that we really don't see what's before us. No, instead what we see is all that we wish to see and hope to find in another. What is before us is often a magical illusion of all our hopes and dreams. Anything beyond that is ignored for the sake of maintaining the wonderful fantasy just a little while longer. So we can have that love high be just a little sweeter.

That was the Svengali-like effect he had on me. Nothing existed within my sight except his beautiful smile, his heavenly eyes and his heart-melting sexy voice. He too was just as attentive and eager to learn about me as I was about him.

At one point he was sharing this story about himself babysitting his younger nephew. As a mom, I couldn't help but think that his story of learning to be an uncle and of the manly 3 second rule (for food that falls on a floor) were a bit gross and did not reflect the incredibly sophisticated and attractive man that was before me. I couldn't help but unconsciously responded by making a strange face.

Stopping mid story he asks: “What’s wrong?”

Though I hesitated at first I went ahead and asked, “Do you always tell this story to women you’re trying to impress?”

“Uh… yes”. Why?

“No wonder you’re still single. That’s story makes you seem so.. so… .... sooo unlayable right now... it’s just not funny!”

His shock caused him to gasp and pause a bit before letting out the biggest raucous heartfelt laughter I’ve ever heard from a guy. I too was shocked at hearing my honest thoughts escaping my mouth, and laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he confessed to me that no one had ever told him that it was such an unappealing story.

“Well honey, someone needs to tell you the truth… and often. Otherwise the next thing you’ll go around believing is that you’re handsome, and we can’t have you going around believing that falsehood.”

Here again he laughed heartily too. I enjoyed making him laugh because he had the most wonderfully infectious laughter and the most heart-warming smile I had ever seen.

Yes, each second of those 2 hours and 45 minutes were nothing like I had ever experienced before in my ife... they were truly magical.

:: Comments left behind ::

I'm liking where this is going. But you still haven't told me if he has a brother my age!

Mm-mmm. Keep it coming.

Ok, you better have exchanged emails or phone numbers... I want more stories!!!

I hope he asked for your number because he is one lucky guy to have met you.

And I am so happy we can comment again, we have missed you!

Yay!

Whoo Hoo!

Love is an incredibly powerful force. It has its own energy and life span and can outlive the bonds with those we love.

Meeting this incredbile man recently has made me thing of my very first grown up love.

My first true grown up love was and incredibly beautiful and powerful love that had a force and an energy all its own. Its hard to put into words how incredibly perfect it was. I’ve never spoken of Jack to anyone because the huge solid lump in my throat would prevent me from speaking his name, let alone me sharing about him or our time together. Even now, tears still flow as I write and think of him. I can still vividly recall the moment we first met, what we wore, what we said, how we felt (though the intensity of the emotions have faded considerably over these past 20 years). There are times I remember awkward funny moments that our self-consciousness produced very early on, which gave way to a growing strong and abiding love.

For a very long time I believed he was my one and only soul mate. But he, being older and wiser, kept insisting, especially as his cancer progressed, that I would love again and eventually find another wonderful soul mate. Being 20, I felt I had already lived a lifetime. so I never knew whether to believe him or not. I figured either way time would tell, but I didn't think it could ever be possible for me to have what we had a 2nd time around.

This past summer I had a lot of time to think about the kinds of love I have experienced in my lifetime and the kind of love I now want to have in my life. For the first time I had the courage to think back on the kind of love Jack and I shared, and reflect on what made it work and what was lacking, so I could be clear about the kind of love I want to experience in the future.

Funny how it took me to be in my mid 40’s to learn love is not an accident. Meeting someone, and experiencing a connection with them is, but true love is something that evolves slowly over time. True love exists when you deeply care, not only what happens to that person, but loving them in spite of their shortcoming and through every challenge they experience. True love doesn't fade in their absence, or with sickness, and is supposed to remain steadfast in health. When you truly love it holds steadfast whether you grow richer or poorer, and irregardlessly of your lives getting better or worse.

Saying “I do” doesn’t make true love so. True love is a state that exists way before the “I do’s”. It’s when both individuals are willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work, thrive, and grow, and you’re not afraid of self-sacrifice or hard work, because the rewards from it are so incredibly worth the sacrifice.

I bumped into Jack’s parents this summer. After years of marriage they were still holding hands as they walked down the street. We recognized each other and immediately began talking and catching up on the missing decades, as people so often do in this city.

Afterwards, as I watched them slowly walk away, hand in hand, I realized what a gift Jack had been in my life. In loving me, he taught me how to truly love. And to truly love someone is to do so openly, honestly and without manipulation, with caring, patience and understanding; with commitment for the other's well being as well as their own. It is loving with passion, respect and vulnerability; all while deferring self-centered desires for the greater good, which is always the relationship.

Jack, what a blessing and a great teacher you were. Thank you! And I finally believe your prediction was right. I finally believe I have found my other soul mate. His smile and laughter are already in my heart, filling the space that you opened up for him to fill. Thank you!

:: Comments left behind ::

Yaaaaaaaaa!!!

You really do get it, not a lot of people get it.

“Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Am I making believe I see in you, a [man] too perfect to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because I want you? Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream, or are you really as beautiful as you seem?”
~ Oscar Hammerstein II

:: Comments left behind ::

I heart musicals

I have no idea what the posting means, but it's good to have you back blogging.

We had been lost in each other for what seemed like only a short while, when we heard the conductor announcing our arrival in DC. Not knowing what to say, we gathered our belongings in silence. Reality had intruded into our little world and had cruelly disrupted it.

When he finally turned his attention back to me, there was a seriousness of manner and a purpose in his look that could not be mistaken. I’ve been in business long enough to know when a man is about to try and “close the deal”. I listened intently to him praise the qualities he liked most about me, and was touched by his sweet and sincere manner. It’s never easy for a guy to ask a woman out, I’ve always been keenly aware and sensitive to that. So, it was even harder for me when I was forced to turn down his dinner invitation. I quickly explained that it's a personal rule I have, not to go out with men I don’t know. Normally, that deters those men who only have one thing in mind, from going any further.

But when I also turned him down for lunch he was really confused. I again explained, since we didn’t have any acquaintances in common that could vouch for his character, I would have to know him awhile before I could accept any invitation. After all, all I knew of him was what he told me of himself and whatever was printed on his business card.

To help him understand where I was coming from, I shared with him a personal experience I had over a year ago. A gentleman, who called himself a christian, told me he was an Eagle Scout, a well-respected college professor and leader in his community. While wooing me over a period of several weeks, I refused to meet with him for the same reason and I thought I had gotten to know him pretty well. What he didn't tell me (though I asked) and what I later discovered, was all along he had a wife, mother-in-law, and 2 children living with him. Of course, it was easy for him to be so deceitful; aside from lacking morals and values, he took advantage of my ignorance because I didn’t live nearby. I had no way of knowing.

Having apologized for being so insistent about dinner, he became quiet and reflective. After a short interval he once again began to smile and said (more for himself than to me), “All good things come to those who wait. I’m a patient man, and that virtue has gotten me to where I am today, so I know my patience can take me all the way…. to dinner that is.”

A minute later he was holding the door open for me to enter the taxi. He lingered long enough to give me just a bit of hope. He finally said the words I’d been hoping to hear for the last few minutes: “May I call you?”

I momentarily held my breath as my heart leapt up with excitement. Smiling happily I answered, “Yes. I would love that.”

Sporting a happy smile, which made him look younger and more handsome than he had all day, he asked “Is Saturnday night at 9:00 a good time?

“9:00pm is perfect”

“Then it’s a date!” he said with a mischievous look on his face. He closed the door as he smiled triumphantly, having managed to secure more time with me after all. I leaned forward and waved goodbye just to take one last good look at his gorgeous frame. I had already memorized his face. It was my last chance to memorize the rest of him before he disappeared from view.

By the time I arrived at the office, there was an email waiting for me that simply read:

“I’m really looking forward to talking with you Saturday night!”

:: Comments left behind ::

I love these entries.

I need to know more. I want pictures or more detail... but preferably pics of pecs and gluts and whatever other attributes he may have.

Otherwise....

I can't believe what a tease you are, you know you are killing us with this slow tell of the story.

I agree with Quality Weenie. I know that patience is a virtue... it's just not MY virtue... sigh. :o)

Lisa, you're stealing my line!

As for more and now... I've never fallen in love overnight. I've fallen deeply in lust just on sight, but never in love. Not even after several dates. For me falling for someone is a long process, for what matters to me most is not easy to see or experience.

It can't be discovered through a kiss no matter how incredible it may be. It can't be uncovered by a few questions, though they may lead me in the right direction. For me to connect to a person's soul, to learn who they truly are and what makes them special takes time. And often they're in too much of a hurry to find out themselves.

I long for you
In stillness of night
Dreaming your arms
Are holding me tight.
I whisper softly
And call your name
It's your voice I hear
Again and again.
My heart is full
Yet empty too
Because I long
And want just you.

~ ME

I"ll be away this weekend, going to the mountains to see the colors of God. Comments are closed while I revel in memories of a most beautiful phone call.

:: Comments left behind ::

Between me and the world
you are a calendar, a compass.
A ray of light that slips through the gloom.
You are a biographical sketch, a bookmark,
a preface that comes at the end.

Between me and the world
you are a gauze curtain, a mist.
A lamp shining into my dreams.
You are a bamboo flute, a song without words,
a closed eyelid carved in stone.

by Bei Dao
as translated by Bonnie McDougall

:: Comments left behind ::

There’s something unbelievably sexy when someone you like a lot leaves a voice mail message in a slow, deliberate manner, in a tone just above a whisper and says: “I called just to let you know I was thinking of you.” [Sigh!!!]

After listening to his message a few times, which gave me enough time to regain my breath, I was finally able to subdue my endless grin and bring it down to a reasonably normal smile. When my head finally got off it’s “giddy” Merry-go-round, this great song came to mind. Someday, I’ll let him know the effect his voice mail message had on me and how this song was posted in response. Yes, someday, just not today.

Now let me see if I can get out of my head, wipe the silly grin off my face and get back to work.

:: Comments left behind ::

You don't know me, but I've been lurking here a lot lately. And I have to tell you that I'm really enjoying (vicariously, of course, since I'm an "old married broad") this romantic journey you're on. And you write about it so well.

(You go, girl!)

Wow girl... you are definitely getting your groove on! Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Comments are still closed. May you all have a wonderful week!

:: Comments left behind ::

I got home from a busy, fun weekend (of hikes, apple picking, and taking my son to his first county fair) to find lots of wonderful emails in my inbox. That's a first for me! The sentiments ran the gamut and since I am pressed for time I will post a quick response here with individual emails to follow.

A few of you wrote asking for lots of interesting details on how my romance is going. Sorry folks, but I don't like to kiss-N-tell.

Several more wrote urging me to be careful and proceed cautiously. I am nothing if not very careful. So careful in fact that guys usually get tired of waiting for me to come around, they give up and eventually walk away. That suits me just fine because it's only over time that a person's true nature is revealed.

Some of you urged me to stop the torture and get it over with and jump his bones and share the details. One person in particular wanted pictures. No Lisa, I will not put a hidden webcam in his bathroom. I think your bathroom fetish is going too far now and you need to consider getting some professional help.

The jumping of the bones is fine for most people but not yet for me. Fortunately, my erogenous zone is somewhere in my brain, so the jumping of bones is for after the fact, or should I say after that act. Besides, you know what the Supremes say: You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait...", but in the meantime, its a wonderful journey.

To those who are wishing me well, a heart felt Thank YOU! I am truly touched by your caring and thoughtfulness. I especially liked the email I received from Eric (Norway), which contained his wonderful wishes wrapped in the beautiful poem below. I am sharing it for our mutual enjoyment.

Again, a heart felt thank you to all.

Love One Another by Khalil Gibran

Love one another, but make not a yoke of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping;
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

:: Comments left behind ::

It's nice to see a new side to you, a giddy side almost.

It's cute!

Okay....[sigh!] so no webcam... but I still want stats and details. Lots and lots of juicy details!!!!

I want you when the shades of eve are falling
And purple shadows drift across the land,
When sleepy birds to loving mates are calling -
I want the soothing softness of your hand.

I want you when the stars shine up above me,
And Heanven's flooded with the bright moonlight
I want you with your arms and lips to love me
Throughout the wonder watches of the night.

I want you when in dreams I still remember
The ling'ring of your kiss - for old times sake -
With all your gentle ways, so sweetly tender,
I want you in the morning when I wake.

I want you when the day is at its noontime,
Sun steeped and quiet, or drenched with sheets of rain
I want you when the roses bloom in June-time;
I want you when the violets come again.

I want you when my soul is thrilled with passion;
I want you when I'm weary and depressed;
I want you when in lazy, slumbrous fashion
My senses need the haven of your breast.

I want you when through field and wood I'm roaming;
I want you when I 'm standing on the shore;
I want you when the summer birds are homing -
And when they've flown - I want you more and more.

I want you, dear through every changing season;
I want you with a tear or with a smile;
I want you more than any rhyme or reason -
I want you want you want you all the while.

--- Arthur L. Gillom

:: Comments left behind ::

Love

I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;

I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.

Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.

You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

~ by Roy Croft

:: Comments left behind ::

You would think that an urbane chick like me could handle anything life throws her way. I usually can, that’s why I have the job I do. But when it comes to SOME men, like my sexy, wonderful “Secret Agent Man” (SAM for short), I can be rather clueless. I discovered that last night quite by accident.

At the end of a most wonderful phone conversation he finally said to me: So how soon can I hear from you again?"

Ms. Sophisticated Urbane Chic (me) answered "Uhhhhhhm, I don't know." Why did I say such a stupid thing? ‘Cause I was truly puzzled and when that happens my mind starts racing. That's when the barrage of questions from my inner demons residing in my head began, "You know, I'm not really clear on what he means" and in the background I hear his wonderful sexy voice protesting my "I don't know."

“Oh, I see how it is… [he says in a disappointed frustrated voice] I’ve been away in China on business for almost 10 days, in which I didn’t call because of the 12hr time difference, and as a result I'm now relegated to the backburner of your life, while you play it cool. I see how it is.”

My inner demons were screaming at me, the arrogant evil one thought, "good let him sweat it out for awhile for not calling". The nicer demon screamed “Noooooooo, wait, that’s not what you meant, talk to him…. NOW dammit!!! Tell him the truth. Tell him that you’ve missed him, but didn’t call sooner because he hadn’t responded to your last email. Tell him you thought he was busy and...”

“AHHHH, STOP!!!“ I shouted to myself in my head as I pressed the palms of my head against my forward to try and stop the chatter and my impending headache. The voices subsided long enough for me to respond to SAM, who had been quietly protesting all the while through the telephone. When I spoke, all I was finally able to say was, “Its your turn next.”

"What?!!" I thought to myself. All I remember from him was silence. While within me raged a second storm between my twin demons who were by now vying intenselfy for supremacy, so ttheir message could get out first. The nice demon said: “Tell him you DO want to talk with him… often, but just don’t know how often and how long, or what happens if he calls and you're not in the mood. Or what if you're PMS, Lord, that’s never a good time to talk with you, EVER!.” I swear, for once in my life I was rolling my eyes at myself. I was so grateful he wasn't standing before me. My internal dialogue continued going in all different directions, my feelings were being crowded out by my demon twins [I'm a true gemini after all].

My evil demon shouted, saying, “Wait A minute... you’ve emailed, you’ve called… you’re not the only one who should be doing the heavy lifting here. He has to show he truly cares about this relationship too, otherwise you’re giving too much of yourself, and then it becomes one-sided when it should be an equal effort… a give and take, a partnership. This is when they show you if they can be a truly giving and caring friend, 'cause if that's too much to handle, then they'll be coming up short with everything else every time and then it'll be too late to realize you're just been wasting your time.” Since the argument sounded reasonable, I let my last statement stand.

We talked for a bit more about other things, I don’t remember how the call ended exactly, it was late and I hadn’t slept well in a week, so I knew to quit while ahead.

And since I wasn’t able to sleep yet again, in the wee hours of the morning I wondered if this is as hard for him, as it is for me. How on earth do we get past the inner demons and the fears to be able to speak from our hearts. Is it just as hard for him to tell me what he wants or needs from me, as it is for me. But the truth is that somehow we are managing to go over those spped bumps called fears, that temporarily slow us down long enough for us to take stock on how things are going on this wonderful journey. The good thing is that those bumps serve as a way to learn how to first and foremost be friends, so that we can learn how to be incredible lovers afterwards. I wonder if he's even aware how my stammering and stumbling of words is something that happens only when I talk with him.

Because if it hadn’t been that hard for me, I would have simply said, “You know what, I’ve missed you this past week. I've missed your sense of humor, your incredible sexy voice; I've missed the sharing of our week with each other... I always love hearing from you... in any form. So write when you want to write, even if its just to say hi and to let me know you're busy. Call when you feel like calling. And if we can talk, we’ll talk and If we can’t… well, then we’ll figure something out when we get there. You just tell me what you're comfortable with, then do what you're comfortable with, and I'll do the same, and we'll just go from there. How does that sound?”

One thing's for sure, next time I'll make sure I have plenty of sleep before we talk. I think the call would have gone a lot differently had I slept more than 16 hrs in in the last 5 days.

Hmmmm, I wonder if anyone has figured out how we can do do-overs in relationships. Any suggestions?

:: Comments left behind ::

Do what your heart tells you, always trust your heart. It knows what it's doing, even if you don't think it does.

Wow, you not knowing what's the right thing to say? You ARE sleep deprived. You even sounded so today during the mid-morning call.

Get some sleep! Everything will look better int he morning.

Hey, if things don't work out, can I have an oppty to take you out?

Suggestion: email him what you said in the last half of this post.

I'd love to offer up some great advice - but...yeah. It's ME, for cryin' out loud....

I sure do wish I could just replay some of our phone conversations for you. ;-)

Probably the best thing I can say is to remind you to remember he's just as human as you are. Just as vulnerable. If you keep the walls TOO strong, you might miss out. Balance darlin'. It's all about balance.

But then again, it's like I said...it' ME, so what do I know.......

Are you aware that Mercury is retrograde and that all communications is apt to go awry?

That means that everything you do, say and write is automatically prone to mis-communication.

"I wonder if anyone has figured out how we can do do-overs in relationships."

Just ask for one.

Spending time with my son lately has been pure joy. He’s been having issues with his teacher and 2 classmates, which I have to go in and address tomorrow. To ensure his spirit remains nurtured, while enduring his personal challenges, I’ve rearranged my schedule to spend even more time with him. As a result, he’s made me laugh each day with something creatively funny he’s said. Below is a sampling:

[Scene: Picking him up at the gym from after-school program my son sees me, gets all excited starts running towards me.]
Son: Mom… mom, you gotta let me go to the Halloween party they’re throwing here in 2 weeks!
Me: You know that it starts past your bedtime. Why do you want to go so badly?
Son: Because that’s the mother load of candy days! I can collect more in one night than you buy in a YEAR! I can collect it and stash it away and eat only a few pieces a week, that way it’ll last me till next Halloween and I’ll never have to negotiate with you to buy candy ever again ‘cause I’ll already have my own.
Me: [Just gave him a look he’s used to by now]
Son: [Turns to friend and says:] “See, I told you she wouldn’t buy it.”

[Scene: Me, stopping in at the corner café to buy some coffee on our way to his school. My son remains outside running around chasing pidgeons. He stops for a moment, comes inside and starts collecting the crumbs off the counter.]
Me: Why are you collecting crumbs?
Son: The pidgeons are hungry and want the crumbs.
Me: How do you know they’re hungry and want crumbs?
Son: They told me so. I speak fluent pidgeon! [He said this with such a serious face everyone was dying to burst out in laughter, me included. He stood there waiting for me to give the ok.]
Me: [All I could muster to do was wave him on and say:] Go ahead.
Afterwards everyone bursts out in laughter and a few agree, the scene was worthy of submission to the the Metropolitan Diary column in the NY Times. I simply said "Please go ahead and submit them yourselves. I've got plenty more where that came from." Hence the inspiration for this new theme in my blog - Bonding Moments.

[Scene: While playing chess in our living room]
Me: Where are you going, we’re in the middle of a game.
Son: I know, by the time you figure out that I have you in double check I’ll be back with my glass of water. Want some? [He stands there waiting for my answer as I stare at the board and see that I’ve lost becaues he has my Queen in double check-mate and my King in check. ]
Me: How did you do that in 9 moves?
Son: It’s easy, Thursday’s is your worst day of the week and you come home tired, with lots of things on your mind. I suggest we play chess so I can take advantage of that! [Him giggling!]
Me: Some day you’ll have kids of your own, I’m going to teach them how to play so well, they're going to teach you a thing or to!
Son: Yes, and until that day comes I will continue to beat you!

:: Comments left behind ::

[Scene: Seven-year-old son say goodbye to mother before leaving with Dad for school]

Son: Mom look the dog is licking her privates.

Mom: Yes. Dogs do that sometimes.

Son: I can't do that. [bends at waist to demonstrate.] See?

[Parents fall to the floor laughing the moment he leaves the room]

You have an absolutely adorable son...and playing chess too. Wow. You are a wonderful mom.

Michele,

This is the most recent post with comments available so I am using this to respond to your farewell post above. I don't even know if you will get this since when I responded to the last email I got from you it was kicked back.

I just wanted to say farewell. And not just in the sense of goodbye, but in the sincere hope that you fare well.

Tried calling your cell but the person that answered indicated that it too has suffered bad fate at the hands of the corporate gods. Try not to take it too hard. I know how much this blog meant to you. Remember this too will pass soon:

Week of Oct. 15 - 21: All your relationships seem shaky right now, and there may be problems when it comes to communicating your needs. This is mainly due to Mercury being retrograde in Scorpio, which tends to create an intense atmosphere of mistrust. It’s not only bad for your love life, it definitely won't help your current work situation. This will be one of the worst times for you all around Dear Gemini. It’s definitely not be the best time to ask for a raise or negotiate deals with your employers. If you can wait until after November 9th
when Mercury goes forward once again you'll have much better opportunities for success all around. Till then, duck and cover. Use this opportunity to sort out ongoing personal issues. With both Venus and Saturn moving through your home zone you're likely to feel frustrated with events with loved ones. Don't try to force the pace, as it's better to go with the flow. Do what you can, apologize if need be, but don't worry about the rest. If they accept great, if not Dear Gemini, accept that its time to move on. All good things must come to an end to allow room for the newer, happier and more exciting beginnings that are in all areas of your life just around the corner. If you can, get others to love, support and help lick your wounds. Give yourself time to heal rest and regroup.

It was a pleasure getting to know you! When you are again able to join the family, shoot me an email! *wink*. Ah hell, shoot me an email anytime. Don't disappear completely!

It’s not been a good week for me. Today things got a great deal worse when members of my firm became aware of my blog. Since it’s against corporate policy to have blog, I was asked to shut it down immediately. Though I tried to negotiate a proper burial I was unsuccessful. The final decision was given to me just moments ago and I only have a few minutes to do close up shop and hand over the keys. As a result, I don't have much time to say a proper goodbye.

Know that I will miss you all as you have meant a great deal to me. To those of you who extended themselves in friendship and helped with my healing, I say thank you, I was truly honored to have you in my life.

May you live long and prosper.

:: Comments left behind ::

There Will Be No Peace
~ by W. H. Auden ~

Though mild clear weather
Smile again on the shire of your esteem
And its colours come back, the storm has changed you:
You will not forget, ever,
The darkness blotting out hope, the gale
Prophesying your downfall.

You must live with your knowledge.
Way back, beyond, outside of you are others,
In moonless absences you never heard of,
Who have certainly heard of you,
Beings of unknown number and gender:
And they do not like you.

What have you done to them?
Nothing? Nothing is not an answer:
You will come to believe - how can you help it? -
That you did, you did do something;
You will find yourself wishing you could make them laugh,
You will long for their friendship.

There will be no peace.
Fight back, then, with such courage as you have
And every unchivalrous dodge you know of,
Clear in your conscience on this:
Their cause, if they had one, is nothing to them now;
They hate for hate's sake.

:: Comments left behind ::