So I was right in the groove of a really funny political post which has been brewing since I returned from DC. And I was trying to finish in time to listen to Ellison on the radio when I got a call from my son's school.
It was my son's teacher calling because of a little incident she had with my son in her history class. For Woman's History Month they are studying woman leaders, among them Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton. Well, began to tell me that the class was asked how Americans feel about Pelosi being Speaker of the House, and my son raised his hand and said "Ashamed" without hesitation.
I said nothing waiting for her to finish telling me what my son had done wrong. After a long pause she asks: "Are you there, are you listening?"
Me: Yes, I'm here, I was just waiting for you to finish your account so I could respond appropriately.
Teacher: Well, I just want you to know that he was quite insistent and wouldn't change his mind and went as far as calling her inconsiderate. When I asked him why he said to me, "because of what she did to my mommy and to others." I understand that your politics may be different, but we need to teach our children, especially boys, that we need to be proud of all women, especially our women leaders.
Me: [As I exhale slowly gathering patience for this interuption at work] My son has a personal issue with and strong feelings for Ms. Pelosi and her staff. I suspect that it will be a long while before he's able to let them go.
Teacher: What possible personal issues could a 7 yr old child have with the Speaker of the House?
Me: Her staff kept pushing back our meeting into the late afternoon after which they cancelled our meeting, which made me miss my flight home, along with dinner and my bedtime routine with him. We both have a lot of reasons to be angry with her, so I'm not going to convince him to feel otherwise.
Teacher: Uhm, but that's different she's the Speaker of the House, she's dealing with important matters. [Blah, blah, blah...]
Me: And I'm a mother of a 7 year old that doesn't understand what was happening in DC this week that required my presence there. I've taught my son that lateness and rudeness is inexcusable and to tell him their behavior was ok because of their position would negate what we believe in and would create a false standard. All he knows is that his mom didn't come home for dinner, didn't read him a bed time story, and wasn't able to pray with him or hug or kiss him goodnight as she does every night. That, in his world, carries more weight than any of the Speaker's issues.
Teacher: Blah, blah, blah, ..... [as far as I was concerned our conversation was over, but I had to let her finish. Unfortunately it continued beyond what it had to, but since he's going there on a scholarship I have to walk a think line and be on my best behavior. But yes, we all have a lot of reasons to be angry with Pelosi. except my issues go back... way back!]
" I understand that your politics may be different, but we need to teach our children, especially boys, that we need to be proud of all women, especially our women leaders."
This sounds to me as if we're supposed to "admire" a woman just because she's a woman. How stupid is that. We don't admire men for being men...
There is so much wrong on so many levels with this conversation. (just the fact that she called you!)
But the biggie here is that she is saying your son's opinion is invalid because it doesn't conform with hers. He has his reasons, but those reasons aren't good as far as she is concerned. In other words, because he is a boy, he is supposed to parrot the mantra that "all women are wonderful". Thus making him a good person... hogwash!
Makes me wonder if she thinks "all men are scum". I wouldn't be surprised. Although it would be instructive to ask her if she's proud of all the men in this country who are in power... if not why not? If we're proud of all the women in power, shouldn't we be proud of all the men too?
As for me... I'm proud of your son for standing his ground.
Posted by: Teresa at March 9, 2007 02:28 PMI'm proud of him too. Doesn't he count as an American? Doesn't his opinion of her count?
I agree with Teresa. Since when do we need to be proud of or admire someone because of their sex? What if Pelosi had used s-e-x and not her gender to get where she is? Should we be proud of her then? Or what if she got there lying, cheating, murdering, etc . . . akin to a third world leader - should we be in her thrall then?
All this teaches young men is that it is not ok to be a man, but regardless of historical fact if you succeed in your tasks we should be proud of you because you are a woman. As if it is some major accomplishment to get out of the kitchen or bedroom.
Posted by: oddybobo at March 9, 2007 02:43 PMI applaud your sense of restraint. I am not sure the conversation would have gone as smoothly had I been one of the participants.
Respect and honor are things that are earned, not accidenta of birth. I would not have hesitated to inform the teacher that this standard applies to her as well.
Your son has certainly earned a measure of respect, as has his mother for raising him right.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at March 9, 2007 06:57 PMPat yourself on the back for raising a child who can reason on his own. Then hug him and let him know that there are people out here that think he's pretty special.
BTW, all I can say about Teresa's comment is BRAVO *standing ovation*!!! That pretty much nails my opinion of this event.
Hope you have a great weekend...
Posted by: Lemon Stand at March 9, 2007 08:04 PMY'all need to come south where the teachers won't be quite so liberal. If your son had said that in my class, I would have been high-fiving him. And my phone call to you would be, "Do you know what your adorable son said today???"
Posted by: Mrs. Who at March 9, 2007 11:41 PMKudos to your son... and you!
Posted by: Jean at March 10, 2007 07:36 AMTeresa - DITTO!
Stephen - Ditto again, and a manly chest-bump! (Okay, maybe that's over the top. Nevermind.) ;)
And Michele - as for Mrs. Who's comment... Believe her. I've seen/heard her give just such kudos to parents for real!
You're doing a fine job. High-five the young'un for me!
This reminds me of an 'episode' I had when I happened to notice a new GameBoy game that my stepdaughter was playing. It was "Power Puff Girls: Battle H.I.M." The villain was - of course - male. I asked Mrs. Who - "You don't have a problem with the media teaching misandry to your seven year old daughter?"
At the time, she just laughed it off. I continued fitfully ranting, but Mrs. Who just rolled her eyes, "It's just a game."
I asked, "Do you really want your sweet daughter following in the footsteps of Gloria Steinem and her ilk? There's a chasm of difference between being 'feminine' and being a man-hating feminist."
Mrs. Who still just laughed, telling me I was over-reacting and being silly. Then we noticed (or I pointed out) how frequently PrincessNO took a negative view of male figures in different circumstances. It was more often than not.
(I've since attributed Mrs. Who's then P.O.V. to residual effects of her idiot ex and subsequent post-divorce "men-are-scum" phenomena. She eventually came 'round!)
That's when we started watching the cartoons that our kids were watching. They're CHOCK-FULL of misandry - not to mention the incredible amount of sexual innuendo. Apparently having cartoon characters deliver humor aimed 'over the heads' of children is designed to make them "more enjoyable for the whole family." All the "violent" Loony Tunes cartoons are gone, and they've remade them into soft-porn, liberal-spewing CRAP. (Think about it: When was the last time you saw Elmer Fudd toting his shotgun?)
/tangent - sorry. It happens. A LOT, I'm afraid.
One cartoon in particular had 'Taz' in competition with a female character. In the end, Taz lost the bet and was forced into the "realization" and woefully, downtroddenly professed that "girls were BETTER." Not EQUAL... BETTER.
That's when we decided it wasn't worth $40 a month to pay for that sewage to be pumped into our house daily, especially with little sponge-brain kids being the inevitable primary consumers. (TV Executives know this too - look at the amount of advertising aimed at the teen, 'tween' and younger crowd.) And do you know what? We haven't missed paid TV programming at all.
Well, okay, there is some discomfort over the loss of SciFi channel and Fox News. If I could get just those two without all the rest, I'd be a happy camper. ;)
Interesting side-note, misandry is not even in the Firefox default spell-check dictionary... But misogyny *is*.
Oh, and if Teacher ever calls again... Give her my number, please. ;->
Posted by: Bitterroot at March 11, 2007 12:29 AMWowee! You sure hit the jackpot (or jackboot) with that school! I'm still recovering from court-mandated tuition to a liberal private school and that was a waste of 10 years of my life putting on a smiley face when I wanted to heave my Cheerios. Lemme tell ya -
Fortunately, through superb parenting and the cluebat of reality my daughter is carrying a 4.5 in High School and has a much more healthy normal life. And she's checking out ROTC for college. Take that, hippies!
Posted by: Cappy at March 13, 2007 07:00 AMkudos to your son. and also to you.
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 13, 2007 12:22 PMI wonder why she choose those two women leaders for the question. Why no mention of Condi. How about she mention the female troops fighting in Iraq, they are doing more important work then Nancy or Hillary. Good for your son for having his own opinion and not following the sheep.
Posted by: sherlock at March 13, 2007 01:17 PMI love that she AUTOMATICALLY assumed it was about politics and never asked him why. A seven year old!
Posted by: caltechgirl at March 13, 2007 03:52 PMPersonally I think we need to get rid of Women in History Month, Black History Month and any other month in which a particular ethnic, religious or sexual orientation group is held in greater esteem because of their race, religion or gender. Instead of focusing on what is truly important.. Great People of America... we are adding fuel to the flames of prejudice. If everyone is equal and they are, then no one group should have a "month" or all should.
I am proud of the stand that your son took with his class. It shows that he has thought out his opinion instead of parroting what his teacher has told him. And you are absolutely correct in that his opinion has value since his life was turned upside down by the inconsiderate rude act of a "woman" in power.
Posted by: Tink at March 13, 2007 05:13 PM