Letters from NYC

A Tough Wish Even For Tinkerbell

In past years I've set all my Dreams\Visions\Goals up in a notebook, and I normally always fill up the notebook up not just with the goals but also with ideas and steps on how to actualize them. This year, I want to teach this type of dream\goal oriented thinking and actualizing to my son. To show him how it's done and have him participate, I'm posting just our top 5 dreams/goals (1 for each area we're focusing) on a large cork board. I'll still have the notebook to write the other dreams\goals, but it will also include the major action steps, smaller tasks, etc., with room for brainstorming on additional ideas.

Today I asked my son to think about the kinds of things he'd like to see in his dream house. After pausing for a moment, he began to rattle off excitedly the following list: "a lanai (a furnished covered/roofed patio used during rainy season in Asia); a finished basement, a dog house with a dog in it, preferably a jack russell or terrier; either a jeep, a taurus or a durango; a game room with enough space for me to work in; a big back yard with a patio area and a front yard too; a basketball hoop, places where we can plant 2 or 3 maple trees, where they will never be cut down so they can produce enough acorns to feed the neighborhood squirrels; and a place where he can spread out his toys, especially his race track with all his cars, and he'll never have to pick them up. We were having such a great time that I chose not to tell him that the last item will not be happening. At least not until he gets his own house or apartment.

After awhile he returned to where I was working and asked if he could add something of his own on the board. I showed him the space that was reserved for his personal dreams, then I gave him a large index card and a sharpie. He quickly returned with it in hand and placed it at the top of his space, which means it's the most important goal on his list. As I started reading, it began to break my heart. So I hugged him tightly, told him I loved him, kissed him on top of his head, told him what a good job he'd done on letting his heart search for his wishes and after awhile asked him to finish watching his movie while I finished my work.

It was only after he left that I was able to finish reading his card and let my tears flow. On his card he had written: Go with my father to see a baseball game, a football game and a hockey game.

Now I need to add in my notebook a wish that his father will finally decide to get in touch either with his family or with us, and that he'll want to become part of his life, after choosing not since shortly after his birth. Gosh, I just hope my son has enough faith and patience to wait for his dream to come true.