Letters from NYC

Aiming for a Spiritual & Sane Holiday

Here are some tips that I received a while back which I wrote down in my journal and I keep going back to every year as a reminder of where I can go if I let myself get carried away by the holiday shopping spirit. I’m sharing this in the hopes that it might help someone to think differently about the holidays. My other motivating factor comes from working at an investment back and seeing how people many people file for personal bankrupcy in March and April from not being able to pay their christmas shopping bills.

For me the holiday season is a beautiful and spiritual experience, but it wasn’t always like that. In the past I felt compelled to buy gifts, sometimes extravagant ones, for those who had touched my life in some way during the year. Now my philosophy is a bit different, but that change was forcibly brought by some very bad overspending habits which I no longer have. So here now is the wisdom given to me by a very happy and wealthy Certified Financial Planner.

1. Start by realistically figuring out a budget. When planning a budget think about how much money you would like to and can realistically spend for Xmas gifts & your holiday dinner this year. Include the cost of wine, etc. you will bring to other holiday parties.

2. Make a list of individuals you will be giving to and a mid-range amount you will spend. Make a mental commitment to stick to the numbers in front of you when shopping. Visualize a positive end result for you (as you won’t dig yourself into a financial hole) and for the recipient as they will be glad for your thoughtfulness. If they’re the type that equate love with monetary value then tomorrow’s post is about them!

3. Give yourself and your family permission to break your holiday spending tradition! Just warn your family in advance. I told my family over the summer this year and reminded them recently that this Christmas I will be paying it forward instead of back. Tomorrow I’ll have more about this.

4. Respect people’s gift giving style. My family insists on giving what they want despite asking everyone every year for a list of things they would like to receive. I have never, ever, received what I have asked for so I have given up and think of my gift as the initial step in paying it forward. More on this tomorrow.

5. Think of involving your family in your holiday saving ideas. This might encourage them to join you as well, in cutting-back. There are many holiday money saving ideas out there that you can share with a little online research. Tomorrow I will post a few money-saving ideas and links to sites that will help.

6. Think edible, biodegradable, homemade and/& readable. Most of us have to much stuff to begin with. I for one don’t want another scarf ( I have 14), or pair of leather gloves ( I have 5), or crystal vase (I have 3 too many which I got last year) or some other knick knack or object that will accumulate dust and will force me to spend extra time I don’t have in cleaning it. Instead consider a homemade cd or cookies elegantly packaged. I once made a recipe book of Italian recipes I had learned when I lived in Italy. After picking out a nice cover and paper had it reproduced with a pretty graphic design on the cover. Total cost of my Christmas presents that year was $127.00 and it was a hit. When I gave that gift to my boss I also added a nice bottle of wine and to this day he calls me up every year after new years just to let me know how this recipe or that recipe was a hit.

7. Try thinking outside the box when it comes to gift giving. When I was a poor Grad Student one year I created coupons for services that I would cheerfully be available to do once the redeemer gave me notice. For one cousin it was 5 free babysitting sessions of up to 5 hrs. For my sister I offered to be her mother’s helper/maid, doing chores for an entire day. For another I offered to cook and serve for her and a very special date the romantic meal of a lifetime.

8. Consider sharing the expense of the holiday dinner by letting family members bring a dish that you both agree upon. It will cut down on the work, stress and cost of the meal while at the same time making a loved one feel good that they contributed.

9. Comparison shop before going into a store. By using one of the new shopping comparison sites like shopzilla.com or shopping.com you will be able to find the lowest price anywhere for that special gift you must get that special person on your list. You can also use these sites as leverage for any store you shop at normally that does price match like Best Buy or Radio Shack.

9. Create new traditions that are either free or low cost. Tomorrow I will show you a list of free holiday events in the NYC are that are fun and wholesome. Check your weekend local newspaper and television station websites for similar free events in your area.

10. Finally, link money, time and happiness way into the future, not just the holidays. Ask yourself before you begin spending: will being cash poor in January & February bring joy to your life in the long run? Or will create frustration, anger and resentment?

Posted by Michele at November 29, 2006 11:56 PM