Letters from NYC

Lessons of a hot summer's day

I am too dead dog tired to compose an honest to goodness, well thought out post (2nd day) or to even begin editing yesterday’s post (which I’m unhappy with) so I’ll simply copy a page from RP’s blogging style and throw at you some of the things that I learned as I went along today. I’ll start with my first lessons of the day.

- When offering to pick up a pkg. for an out of state co-worker who’s visiting, don’t let them give you directions to where you’re supposed to go. Instead, get an address and a telephone number so you can be SURE of where the hell you’re going and not wind up 3 miles off. Park Ave is NOT Park Place.

- When drinking water, Gatorade and iced coffee on a hot day in a short time span, make sure you ask a woman where the bathroom is and the key code for the lock BEFORE you sit down in an all male meeting.

- After walking 15.6 miles in 100F+temps, do not schedule to meet up with your mentees as all you’ll manage to do is drink, pee and sit there listlessly. Bou, I think I’m ready for Disney.

- When getting a Pollen alert on your mobile do not ask yourself out loud in front of your son: “Where the hell do they grow enough plantains in the tri-state area to trigger a High Plantain Pollen Index Alert."

- Scheduling a pedicure after walking 60 miles in 4 days makes one’s feet very happy and tingly all over!

- When dining in a nice restaurant and catching son with one leg raised on the chair while fanning his crotch area, do not ask him what he’s doing, otherwise he’ll be forced to shout over the loud music that he’s “fanning his sweaty balls”.

- Mental note: men’s balls get sweaty and need ventilation and that’s why they grab their crotch in public sometimes. Who knew!

- Drinking 2 Iced Frappuccinos' and 2 Iced Green Teas, is NOT a good idea when you're only used to caffeine in the form of 1 cup of iced coffee per day. Trying to sleep that evening is futile.

- I've discovered a new physics rule: on a hot summer's day, the more you drink, the more you have to pee. Output is not directly proportional to intake. In some instances, it is greater than intake. Further study must be done to understand the freekin' correllation and how it's possible to spend more time peeing than drinking.

Posted by Michele at August 3, 2006 10:25 PM | TrackBack