First, thank you ever so much for the videotape. YOU ARE TRULY THE BESTEST! The exercises are definitely helping and I am slowly feeling better. Your jokes and those of my blog family help enormously. Some of them were uproariously funny. Thanks!
Regarding your SOX project, if you're referring to the Sarbanes-Oxley Act requirements, then you truly are screwed! At my firm we have close to 100,000 employees and I was managing a very, very small portion or a roll-out [that was gearing up to go global] out of a huge development team project. The end result, my hands are what they are now because of it. My condolences, sympathies and prayers are with you. I'm still not back at work and spend part of my days in either physical therapy or acupuncture.
What I have been doing with the other 6 hours of my day is planning my exit strategy. I love myself and my life too much to work in an environment where my soul, creativity and life blood is being sucked out of me on a daily basis. Since I've been out of work I've handwritten 3 story treatments for novels and 1 outline and chapter breakdown, along with research needs for a non-fiction book. I've been researching and looking around for possible agents I can approach and lots of other things along those lines. You see, writing is my first and most passionate calling. Teaching comes second. What I'm doing now is between fourth or fifth on that list.
It is what pays the bills and affords me to live comfortably. It pays my mortgage and helps me plan my future and achieve other goals. But during these past 8 weeks I've come to the realization that I can try to do what I love and live like a poor happy person OR I can continue the work I'm doing, get paid well without being able to enjoy it and be continuously miserable. I've made my decision. I was happiest when I was teaching as an adjunct at the University for peanuts. However, in my free time I was able to be creative and to publish a few of my stories
But getting back to you, I just want to let you know that you deserve much, much more. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers so that you can find a way out of the mire that you're in. My injury has been a blessing in disguise as it's given me the time to think, write, explore and begin planning the next two stages of my life.
Which brings me to your questions:
- Why do you live where you live?
- Where would you like to live?
- What is keeping you from living there, really?
I live in NYC because out of all the countries and states I've lived in, it was the most beautiful, convenient and most conducive to the type of lifestyle I led and the kind of work I did. I'm now over that phase in my life and have planned (as part of my exit strategy) to live somewhere that has some accessibility to the arts and higher education (so I can teach) while still being able to have a beautiful environment like Charleston, NC or areas in Virginia, or Vermont. Yes, I want to be surrounded by greenery, nature at it's most beautiful, so I can be inspired continuously to be creative in my own right.
There's only one person stopping me from leaving right now.... ME, and I'm working on that. My fervent wish for you is that you too can plan your exit strategy so you can be happy and centered some day (if you so choose). There are times when I wonder if you really enjoy your grumpiness. I picture you as the technical Oscar the Grouch of our blog family. I say/think that of you in a very endearing way. Hope you don’t mind. I believe that perhaps deep down inside you enjoy some of the environment you work in (like me) otherwise we would have both been working elsewhere a long time ago. I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy working with some of the people I do. It’s the only time I’m able to engage and spar with my intellect against other brilliant people. When you teach, you don’t get that opportunity except if you’re teaching an honors course.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you and hope that you can be happy someday. Hugs to you from your blog sis!!!
Thank You.
I was hoping they would help. I hope they help a lot.
:hug:
Posted by: _Jon at March 16, 2005 11:14 PMI've been mulling the "Oscar the Grouch" comment.
1. I'm moody. I know it. I try to "warn" people about it. Sometimes I'm happy. Often my brain gets overloaded with worry because I keep so many thing in it.
2. I'm deeply disappointed in so many people I've tried to help. My "safeguard" has become to try to distance from people by being grumpy. It's safer to not be disappointed if you don't know. I can't pretend to not care. If I know someone, then I care. So being grumpy is a self-defense mechanism I've developed.
And I'm not offended that you noticed.
One thing I've realized is that good people see right through my act.
Most abusers think I'm a jerk and steer clear.
- and that's what I want.
:)
Posted by: _Jon at March 17, 2005 12:10 AM_Jon as Oscar the Grouch...
Yeah, I can see it :-)
Definitely.
And I'm glad you popped up again, Michele. Can't wait until you're back for good.
Posted by: Harvey at March 17, 2005 09:55 AMFunny Michele - I'm planning my exit strategy too. Going back to Northern Indiana to take care of my mother, but can't post that yet. Don't have a job, but will temp and pray that something I enjoy comes up. Doesn't seem too responsible I know, but I need to take care of Mama and I know God will take care of all those silly little details.
Good luck dear. I'm proud of you.
Posted by: Tammi at March 17, 2005 07:18 PMHeh - SOX... thank goodness they threw the book at Bernie Ebbers - since he's been one of the biggest reasons we're stuck with that crap piece of legislation - it's the very least the jury could've done for us. *grin*
Anyhow, Michele, I hope you are able to figure out a way to make your dreams real and I wish you the greatest success with your writing!
Oh, and the fact that Johnny_Oh lives... is proof positive that _Jon's bark is way worse than his bite. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at March 17, 2005 10:52 PMNot only do I Live, I'm right cocky about it!
Seriously though: If you're going to relocate to assist you in getting closer to your dream, take someone you Love with you. It's no fun seeing new sights if you have noone to share them with. IF you're anything like me, you'll wind up back "Home" within a years time. Flat-broke, and tryiing to start over from square one. All my good thoughts go with you, whatever you decide.
Welcome back.
Posted by: Johnny - Oh at March 17, 2005 11:52 PMHee, Hee, _Jon as Oscar the Grouch - perfect. And, he was one of my favorites on Sesame Street, along with Grover.
Posted by: TNT at March 18, 2005 12:17 PMHeya, blogSis... sorry for being so delinquent in posting here - I've been reading and enjoying, and not taking the time to comment, and that is WRONG.
As for your exit strategy from NYC and mention of NC or VA as possible destinations, I can assure you that they would be good choices for higher learning teaching opportunities in the arts, and yes, TONS of greenery. One caveat: If you choose VA, choose central-to-north of the VA/NC border, and if you choose NC, choose central-to-south of same border. Both states are doing relatively well economically overall, but there is an incredible "dead zone" just north and south of the state border. Outrageous unemployment numbers, skyrocketing homelessness and structural decay, etc.
Is a consequence of that area having relied for many years on textile industry, and that textiles have largely moved overseas to places like China et. al. Huge textile mills down in the depressed areas are laying off left and right, and shutting down.
The central areas of both states are hugely dependant on higher education for their economies, and doing just fine. The city I live in (Lynchburg, VA) boasts about five colleges (two of them world-renowned women's private colleges). Charlottsville is much the same with UVA. Central NC has something known as the "Triad Area" which is almost an East Coast version of Silicon Valley in terms of high tech research and development.
Just some food for thought...
Posted by: Jeff (Au fait) at March 21, 2005 04:35 AM